Today is Blog Action Day 2012 and the theme chosen for this year is “the Power of We.” I find this topic to be inspiring because the nature of our times is pushing us towards rediscovering what can be achieved through collaboration and community.

It does seem, however, that we humans have a particular hurdle to negotiate before we can fully harness the “Power of We.” These days our economic, social and environmental structures are in a state of crisis. Yet we are unable to make progress due to our polarised debates and conversations. We are caught in a destructive struggle between the polarity of individual rights vs. the collective good, in an adversarial tug of war between right and left wing ideologies or even between the intellect and feelings.

When the proponents of individualistic freedom triumph  the door is open for the common good being sacrificed by unchecked greed. When the champions of the collective dominate then diversity and individual expression is compromised.

As Margaret Wheatley puts it “It seems that whenever we bargain with life and seek to satisfy only one of its two great needs, the result is a quality of true lifelessness. We must live within the paradox; life does not allow us to choose sides.”

But how do we live with the paradox? How can we honour both the needs of the collective and the needs of the individual?

As a facilitator I am particularly interested in how we can overcome this duality in the context of group meetings. People all too often find meetings boring – they walk away feeling an individual has dominated proceedings or they feel unheard as though the group has stifled their unique contribution. This is a tragedy given that the necessary building blocks to resolving our problems are engaging conversations that harness both individual expertise and contributions of everyone. We are not lacking in well-intentioned people with great ideas. What we need is social technologies that enable conversations in which a diversity of perspectives can converge and find the common ground of “we” solutions.

The great news is that methods for facilitating conversations already exist that are performing this very function!

Impossible, you may say. How can we get people holding polar opposite viewpoints onto the same page with “we” solutions that compromise nothing of the participants' individual viewpoints?

In the field of social innovation the process of Dynamic Facilitation is one excellent tool that enables this. The method shifts the participants of a meeting away from adversarial debate and towards confronting the issue. Every contribution is valued and noted down for all to see. The facilitator follows the energy of the group and its participants, without imposing ground rules, so that a natural flow of creativity can emerge. Rather than managing and controlling the discussion to a pre-established agenda that stifles out-of-the-box thinking, the facilitator simply trusts that the group knows how to self-organise, put the pieces of the puzzle together and arrive at a level of collective intelligence. Even with seemingly impossible issues group breakthroughs and authentic win/win solutions emerge through this radically different way of holding a conversation.

This new way of holding meetings has massive implications for groups, communities and societies. It even holds the potential of transforming our democracies so that they become truly participatory. Wisdom Councils use Dynamic Facilitation to help randomly selected citizens find unanimous “We the people” solutions to pressing issues which can then be presented to the community or to elected officials.

Below is a video by Jim Rough, the creator of Dynamic Facilitation. He explains its potential for harnessing "the power of We":

I'm a facilitator trained in this method by its creators Jim and Jean Rough. If you are interested in holding a meeting using Dynamic Facilitation or wish to find out more just get in touch and I'd be happy to discuss your requirements.

When we commit to moving forward in life – getting a new job, starting a new business, creating a community or social project, starting a new relationship, making a public presentation… whatever it is there can be a sense of enthusiasm, excitement and uplift as we are filled with the promise of what we intend to realise.

The part of us that wants to grow and develop is satisfied knowing that we’re moving in the right direction towards fulfilling our potential. But if we’re realistic we probably acknowledge that moving forward is also likely to bring challenges. We’re going to encounter situations that mean we have to leave our “comfort zone.”

So when we get to the point where intentions have to translate into actions, this is where the pull back and the obstacles start to arise. Feelings connected with fear and anxiety start to come up. Our underlying vulnerability is exposed due to the prospect of venturing into unknown territory. Now these feelings are not negative per se, for example fear often has an important message like “pay attention to this novelty” or “be alert for danger”; however if we get stuck in fear it can result in paralysis or severe procrastination that stops us moving towards where we want to go.

We may know in our heart there is something we really want to accomplish but the moment it comes to acting on that intention we might start to feel a bit queasy, numb, sleepy or anxious. When these feelings come up our reaction will often be to turn away and seek something more pleasurable. So instead of taking the first action to start our great new project we go and make ourselves a cup of tea, we check our Facebook account, we start cleaning the house or make ourselves busy with something that was previously a lot less important.

Ok, you may say, I recognise this - but how do I deal with it?

Well, the most important step is to acknowledge the fear and the feeling associated with it. Our knee-jerk reaction is usually to experience the uncomfortable feeling as an enemy that has to be pushed away or deadened by distractions or substances like alcohol and nicotine. This may seem to work in the short term but in the long run the feelings get stronger and the anxiety just cranks itself up even more.

So the first step is to get in touch with the fear, allow it to be, even welcome it in as a trusted guest. Then we can start to get curious or intimate with the feeling. Where in our bodies do we feel it? We locate it and then bring our complete undivided attention to embrace and be in touch with the feeling and stay present with it as much as we can. By practising this, the feeling of anxiety may at first feel more pronounced but then it will subside and dissipate.

The above step is always vital but additionally we can also voice the fear. If our anxious feeling could speak what would it say? Become the fear, embody it completely and see what it has to say. What are its concerns? Listen to them. This helps us to have a cognitive understanding of what’s going on. It helps us to separate from identifying with the anxiety and being controlled by it.

Nowadays there have also been developments in what‘s known as releasing emotions.
One such method is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique.) It looks a bit weird when you do it but I have consistently found it to be effective. This method once again consists of welcoming the uncomfortable feeling and bringing it to mind then tapping one’s fingers on acupressure points, freeing up the emotional energy and allowing it to flow. Take a look at this video about how to do it here.

Another way of releasing is the Sedona Method. This also involves allowing the feeling, then investigating it and asking and answering 3 questions: “Could I let this (fear) go? Would I let it go? When?” It sounds too simple but sometimes the simplest methods are the most effective. In this video Hale Dwoskin, one of the founders of the method, shows you how to do it.

Enjoy the embracing and releasing! I'd be happy to hear your thoughts and comments.